Kung Fu Therapy

The Solution to most problems

Is there something Troubling in your life?  If so, it may be a problem.

Kung-Fu Therapy™ may be able to improve the attributes and abilities of people of any attribute and ability who are also suffering from problems.✵

Common Problems:

Weakness, joint pain, neuroticism, excessive agreeability, orneriness, weight gain, weight loss, confusion, assuredness, ADD, singular obsession, life, death, work, poverty, too much money,  unemployment, poor fashion, millennial writing 'style', vanity, elitism, knots, wild animals, hunger, News Belief, lack of intelligence, psychedelic discharge, conspiratorial thoughts or plans, lack of kung-fu ability,  and many, many more.

If problems are faced directly, they usually destroy the person suffering from them; otherwise they really wouldn't be problems.  Without Kung-Fu therapy, it is generally best to avoid problems so that personal destruction can be avoided.

Fortunately there is a solution.

In Kung Fu therapy,  we will do everything your problems would do but, unlike your problems, kung-fu therapy won't destroy you after finding your weakness and it might even be playfully fun.  

Over time, if you learn, your abilities may increase such that you eventually enjoy your problems.✵  

Kung-Fu therapy can be performed at any distance - written, verbally, or in your face - but is more dangerous the closer you get.   

Available in group sessions or one on one.   Limit of 21 clients/abecedarians.

Contact for enrollment availability, pricing, and schedules:  Kungfutherapy@gmail.com

Offered by Port Townsend Self Defense(PTSD), a semi secret, non affiliated, non accredited, private, members only club dedicated to personal responsibility and freedom.


✵The FDA is afraid to evaluate this claim





When Everything Else Seems Cliché


If you've tried everything else and it hasn't worked or hasn't worked well enough, maybe its time to try Sorcery.✵




✵Claims, Purpose, and methods are unknown at this
time otherwise they would have already been tried.
The FDA currently has no known
opinion or understanding of sorcery.